Last week was about celebrating the goodness of love, in all of its forms. It’s only fair to inject a little bit of reality back into the air. The truth is, there are a lot of missteps when it comes to love, like and crushes. Sometimes you think you’ve hit a home run but you’ve actually air balled so bad it’s hit the rafters (I know I’ve mixed up my sporting references but I’m claiming creative license).
Air balling has been the constant theme when it comes to my crushes.
When I was younger (somewhere between 18-20, it’s all a bit of a blur now), I had a crush on a guy that had the most creative nickname I’ve ever heard. That’s saying a lot, considering here in Australia finding a nickname for someone is treated with the same fervour as an Olympic sport. I mean tell me why else someone once shortened a three-letter name to a single letter?! (shout out to O!). Anyways, this crush began as soon as I heard the nickname. I’m a sucker for anything puny or clever. It never occurred to me that logically speaking I should have probably directed my crush at the creator of the nickname rather than the subject bestowed with the name. When you’re young, and think you’re in like, logic truly goes out the window.
Around about this time, I bought a bike. One of those indie, hipster bikes with a front basket, whose real usefulness is to serve as a prop rather then for any serious bike riding. When I bought it, I posted a picture of the bike on my wall. This was back in the prime- time of oversharing on Facebook. You remember when statuses were used as a legitimate means of updating others about what’s happening in one’s life, before flirting moved into the dms and back when interactions actually occurred on one’s Facebook wall.
Perhaps I was letting all the likes I was receiving on my very trendy bike get to my head because somehow, I felt confident enough to send a Facebook friend request to my above-mentioned crush. This is someone I had not actually had a proper conversation with besides being very briefly introduced and a series of very minor interactions since then (a simple hello here and there). Imagine my great excitement when he accepted my friend request… and POSTED ON MY FACEBOOK WALL!
“Hey, I remember you. Nice bike.”
Simple. To the point. Complimentary. Not inviting further conversation in the slightest.
If the whatsapp group chat was as much of a thing then as it is now, I probably would have taken a screenshot and sent it in the group chat. Then we (me and my 3-5 closest galpals) would have collaborated to come up with a response that was equal parts chill, clever and TO THE POINT.
Unfortunately, this valuable resource was not yet available to me and I was left entirely to my own devices. There are times when you rise to the occasion and other times when you truly fall flat on you face.
I FELL FLAT ON MY FACE.
My response was… many… many sentences long. I’ve managed to successfully repress the exact words I used. But I’m certain I probably recounted word for word the extent of our interactions up until this point. I also vaguely remember using the word “blessing” in reference to my bike when I knew fully well the likelihood of me actually using it in real life was slim to none.
Like some of the greatest fails in life, it’s not until you seek further counsel that you can appreciate the extent to which you have failed. For me, that came in the form of the reaction from my close friends when I showed them my response. The laughter was nothing short of RAUCOUS. It was then that I knew - I had truly MISSED THE MARK.
Fair to say, my crush did not respond. Not even a pity like to acknowledge the time it would have taken for me to write such a LONG response. There’s really no way to move on with a crush after something like that. He's married now (to someone that isn't me... duh).
Hindsight is twenty-twenty. I’ve learnt (and am still learning) the power of being concise, of holding back. The power in a simple response like “Thank you.”
Often times in crushes (or relationships in general) the less words you use, the better.
S.
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